Chaos of the Heart: Suicide Before and After

It was in the wee hours of a Sunday following a party the night before. I was tired and sleepy, and Sunday School was only a few hours away. But I knew I had to go check on one of my closest college friends. Around midnight, he had evidenced deep depression and expressed thoughts of suicide. I didn’t think he had a gun, but I knew he had a hunting knife.

I went to his dorm room and knocked. No answer. I waited, then knocked again. Still no answer. Was he there? I had to know. So I went outside, climbed through his window, and found him lying awake in bed.

“Didn’t you hear me knocking?”

“Yeah.”

There were hardly any words spoken beyond that, only silent understanding for several minutes.

“Before I go, Buddy,” I finally asked, “where’s your knife?”

“Here. I’m okay now.” He reached out from under his bedcovers and handed it to me.

I’m glad to report that our friendship grew and deepened in the years that followed.

Suicide Prevention Month

This memory from decades ago came to mind a few days ago as I read a press release about the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) designating September as Suicide Prevention Month.

NAMI cites suicide as one of the most urgent mental health issues of our troubled culture. We’ve all read the alarming headlines citing the increasing numbers of suicides.

The Centers for Disease Control’s 2026 report cited these stats: “Suicide was responsible for 48,824 deaths in 2024. The number of people who think about or attempt suicide is even higher. In 2024, an estimated 14.3 million adults seriously thought about suicide, 4.6 million planned a suicide attempt, and 2.2 million attempted suicide.”

In a nutshell, NAMI emphasizes that talking about an issue is a critical first step toward intervention and finding help for prevention. Its website says, “Our goal is to ensure that individuals, friends, and families have access to the tools, resources, and support they need to talk openly about suicide prevention, recognize warning signs, and seek help.”

With 650 state and local affiliates, NAMI reports that it served more than 93,000 callers in 2025. Its toll-free number is 800.950.NAMI (6264).

Another quick resource for help is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline’s three-digit number. Just call or text 988.

Christian Insights

For a solid Christian approach to the issue, I discovered the article “The Roaring Lion: Depression and Suicide in the Christian Family” by TD Smith. It is posted at the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College. This author first cites familiar Scriptures such as 1 Peter 5:8, which warns that Satan “prowls around like a roaring lion” and James 4:7, which advises one to “resist the devil and he will flee from you.” In addition, Smith echoes NAMI’s value of initiating conversation about such issues.

Regarding depression generally, the author encourages us by citing biblical heroes who struggled with challenges that sound a lot like things we may experience today. How about Moses’ anxiety and fear of God’s call to leadership? Hannah’s extended grief over childlessness? David’s guilt over adultery? Jonah’s rebellious attitude?

Music for the Soul (MFS) is a unique and creative Christian ministry resource that harnesses the power of music in healing our hearts. MFS creates original lyrics and videos to encourage believers during their toughest seasons. For example, MFS founder Steve Siler says, “We have a song and video – “Need You Now” – that offers help for those struggling with suicidal thoughts.”

Chaos of the Heart

Then Siler goes a step farther. “What about the families hurting in the wake of a loved one’s suicide?” he asks. MFS has produced “Chaos of the Heart” to encourage families and friends who have survived the suicidal death of a loved one. A study guide is also available.

“Chaos of the Heart” lyrics are gut-wrenchingly honest, and that’s what makes them bring relief to those survivors. For example, the song expresses the confusion survivors commonly suffer: “I’m sorry, and I’m sad / and I’m hurting and I’m mad /and I love you and I hate you / and it makes me feel so bad.”

“We pray that those impacted by suicide death will know in this month that they are not forgotten,” Siler adds, and that God’s love for them and the one they have lost is real.

The song’s chorus ends with these sobering words: “Healing’s slow to come from this chaos of the heart.” Yes, it may be hard. Still, the truth is true: Healing can be found in Christ alone.