Service Instead of Selfishness

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“Dinner is ready!”

I recently found myself calling from the kitchen while pots and pans bubbled on the stove. I’m currently cooking for a picky toddler, my husband, myself, and the little boy growing inside me.

This night in particular, my boys were slow to come to the kitchen. I ended up fixing everyone’s plate and setting them on the table. By the time they were seated, my husband’s plate was still nice and warm, but mine was cooler than a refrigerated cucumber, and our little one’s was the perfect temp for him to enjoy. Thankfully, we own a microwave, so mine didn’t take much work to revamp.

But as I pushed start on that appliance, I was reminded of a familiar childhood story, “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” As recorded by readthetale.com, it says:

Inside, she saw a cozy room with three bowls of steaming porridge on the table. Her tummy rumbled. She tasted the first bowl — Papa Bear’s. “Ouch! Too hot!” she cried. She tried the second bowl — Mama Bear’s. “Brrr! Too cold.” Then she tasted the third — Baby Bear’s. “Mmm, just right!” She smiled and ate every bite.

Being a mom, I now understand exactly why everyone in the family had their meal at the perfect temp – except Mama Bear’s. Of course hers got a little chilly; She was busy serving her family before herself.

In 2026, it seems that there has become a disconnect between serving and “pouring from an empty cup.” Today, many posts on social media and self-help articles will explain how it is best to take care of oneself before reaching out to help anyone else.

NBC News reported a few of the “most common derailments that can prevent you from finding fulfillment.” Some included giving too much, taking too much time for themselves, and fearing failure, among others. In fact, the article ended with this summary:

Like oxygen on an airplane, you can’t help others until you help yourself. So set boundaries if you are overextended and find the courage to express your needs. Don’t confuse your drive to win with your drive to be fulfilled. Never fear failure because it will lead to your greatest breakthroughs in life. And if you need to recharge and reconnect with friends, do it guilt-free, as it will be what your body and mind need to move ahead in other areas of your life.

At first, I really wanted to agree. In my flesh, I would love to take time throughout each day, week, and month to completely spoil myself and spend time with friends and loved ones. But in reality, as a mom and wife (among other titles), that just isn’t a reality. Like most parents, I can’t just up and leave whenever I please.

So, as I thought more deeply about this ideology of putting oneself first, I was reminded that, at least for believers in Christ, there is some flawed logic to it.

Of course, in some instances, such as if the mask falls from the airplane in an emergency, please follow those instructions. In situations such as these, it is critical to take care of ourselves before helping those around us. But in other instances, I have a hard time believing that the path of self-care is really and truly the path that Jesus would have chosen.

At the end of the day, He could have walked by the lepers, chosen not to heal the blind, looked over raising the dead girl to life, or slept, instead of serving those around Him. While fully God, He was also fully man. There had to be moments in His earthly body when He just needed to take care of Himself. Instead, He was out doing His Father’s business and caring for those in need.

What if Jesus just “didn’t feel” like going to the cross that fateful day at Golgotha?

We know from Scripture that He was so anxious about the moment that he pleaded with the Father and begged Him to let the cup pass from him. So much so that His sweat turned into drops of blood (Luke 22:44)! Nevertheless, when the time came, he set aside his feelings and sought to follow His Father’s plan – the plan to save the world from damnation.

Jesus taught us by example that there was no better way to serve those around us than to follow Him.

Matthew 16:24-26 says,

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

That sounds pretty counter-cultural to me.

Instead of focusing on ourselves, our real mission and goal as Christ followers is to serve Him first, then others, and lastly, ourselves. By following this (and only this) method of service, we not only honor our Savior, but can also revive our spirit.

What a gift!

When it comes to filling our cup, He’s the only one who can do it. After the life he lived and the death he died, would we not all agree that the best way to glorify him is to give it all by serving those around us and pointing them to the greatest love of all – Jesus Christ?

Even if that means reheating a lukewarm supper plate?

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